wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
The Colbert Report/Episode/533
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * The Mob was a little lat eon their cue * America has been on the brink of a national crisis ** Obama's dog * The USA Today life section ** quicker to write two books about getting the dog than it is to actually get the dog * one of the books is PC; showing * Dr. Colbert wrote his own book ** in the end Biden is neutered SEGMENT2 * Dr. Colbert has been electrified by Glenn Beck ** teetering on the edge of his tub * Glenn Beck fanatasy ** he eats Stephen and become a part of him * hysterical Beck ** celebrity guest * raging forest fire ** when the smoke clears: democracy * We Surround Them ** them's the ones we're surrounding ** we're the voices in Beck's head * Beck's The 9/12 project * Dr. Colbert is ready! ** adult diapers come in handy if you ever have to leave your bunker * Beck doesn't just mean the day after 9/11 ** 9 principles ** 12 values * 9/12 project is not for the people effected by 9/11, just the people building their careers on it * Beck laid out exactly what he wanted and why * Dr. Colbert just loves Glenn Beck's sanity and fears for it * inspired by Beck;'s * The 10.31 Project ** 31 flavors * loves his country and the musical Rent ** glad he's wearing that diaper * on October 31 ** go house to house demand your neighbors ** we will need quick energy * disguise yourself ** Wolverine ** spritely hobo ** sexy nurse * we surround them and their trees * Nation, Dr. Colbert needs us to help him help us help him * The 10.31 Project.com SEGMENT3 * newspaper industry ** like a blogthat gets ink on your hands * Chicago Sun Times filed for bankruptcy * 7th installment ** Better KNow A Lobby ** Fightin' Newsies * Newspaper Association of America (NAA) * John Sturm * has the Sunday supplements to lead * the source for investigative reporting * local news * gives rise to most of the other news * Stephen suggests product placement * example: Obama declares war * online newspaper are doing well ** they don't charge anything * don't milk a horse that's left the barn * compete on the internet, why don't newspapers have a huge porn section * he says they're not dead yet * advice to get newspaper healthy ** stay in touch with audience ** work with readers ** reason for readers/advertisers to * doesn't know how knock-knock jokes work Interview * David Plotz ** book: "Good Book: The Bizarre, Hilarious, Disturbing, Marvelous, and Inspiring Things I Learned When I Read Every Single Word of the Bible" * wrote a book about reading every word of the bible, he'll understand when Dr. Colbert crucifies him * he's not a Rabbi * the Bible we're taught in Sunday School is neat benevolent God, heroic exploits, clean ** not really * Sampson ** is a sociopath who tortures small animals ** kicked ass in the name of The Lord * Jewish traditions ** question the Bible * the lesson is: don't question God * he did not suffer like Job ** at the end of Job because got everything back *** still 10 kids and a good looking lady * he came out anti-God ** like a great high school teacher ** demanding God *** mutual respect * heroic ** Sampson, Jacob, Noah (not in-between; he was straight) * has a problem with Leviticus ** cannot stone gay people Epilogue * Dr. Colbert gives the answer to today's Sudoku: the numbers 0-9 ** then he mentions his disclaimer: "Spoiler Alert" Gallery Image: Image: Image:Stephen'sReady.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments